Most people who see me every now and then probably know that I 3 weeks ago lost 4 Friends in a terrible Drowning accident in Norway.
Two of these guys were from my band “Arms Ablaze”, and now we stand as band cut in half with only the two who where good at dancing left, both of the brains are gone.
This is the most extreme situation I’ve ever been in emotionally, and it seems hard to know what to do of 8 years of band history that now can only stand as a memory, it’s tough that there is so many things to remind you of what you can’t do any more, for instance whenever I hear about a band, If i listen to awesome Hardcore music that we as a band discovered together, or just the fact that there are still Monday evenings and I’m not spending them in rehearsal room screaming in my Elvis mic. All this is plain wierd and terrible not to be able to do again, and though one of the worst things is that I can’t go on stage with them again.. One thing still top’s them all which is that it’s some of the only friends that have been as close to me as they were, and the are now gone. I can’t get my head to understand it…
Such a Situation creates a lot of questions to God and men.
I don’t believe that I can find any good answers, and I don’t believe that this was how it was meant to be even though everything almost points in that direction, with such a long series of unfortunate happenings that led to the incident. We aren’t created to die, were created to live..
But one thing I feel is an reaction, which I in some way can cling on to, is to make sense of it, learn from it, not be safe, but to love more, and to keep them alive inside.
I wrote this song for our band a long time ago, and we had it as a song for a fictive guy called Willie, it was written about 4 years ago, which almost makes me believe that “past-me” wants to help “Present-me” 🙂
Should this be my death tonight.
then carry on my destiny, my Friend
I know you never understood, this kite.
but let fly my sight of light.
carrying so I won’t die, and there will be no victory.
so carry it on, you who know the sight of him..
his letter of interfering, his idea shall never die.
let him live inside,
like a wind of prophecies
like a shout breaking the wall,
Which stops your mind from lines.
Memories like a fire, breaking death apart.
I share this, because it’s all that is on my mind at the moment, so if I’m going to have a private blog and write on what is going on in my life, I have to be able to make references to this..